Hey Mythcreants,
Clever quips and witty remarks from the narrator are things I like in stories (I love how Eoin Colfer did it), but when is it too much? I want to add a bit more kick and humor to my stories, especially my short stories, but I don’t know whether I’m adding too much. How can I make sure it doesn’t slow down the pace or get too annoying?
Thanks a bunch,
Nobody
Hi Nobody,
Since they are implemented at the sentence level, quips generally have to be judged in context. However, here’s what I can tell you in general.
- Witty remarks shouldn’t make light of threats or make it look like witty characters aren’t taking threats seriously. Sometimes, you can get away with it if the threat is really large and the protagonist is getting their ass beat. In that case, the wit might prevent the story from being too gloomy.
- Don’t try to make your audience laugh when you want them crying or at the edge of their seats. If you have really dramatic moments where someone is dying, someone is about to be chopped in half, or two characters with an important relationship are getting in a fight, that’s not usually a good place for a quip.
- Pacing is an issue only if adding clever remarks makes you more verbose. The places that are most sensitive to pacing are dialogue and action sequences. For dialogue, it’s not usually remarks in the dialogue itself that cause issues; it’s putting it in the narration between dialogue lines. Fights are sensitive to timing and are tense, so they are a place to be sparing with any kind of character thoughts or remarks. That said, if your character gets thrown and needs a moment to get up, you could fit something in.
- Avoiding annoyance is mostly about not getting repetitive and making sure your characters aren’t one-dimensional. Give humorous characters other sides to their personalities, and don’t repeat the same joke all the time. If your witty character never takes other people seriously, that could also annoy readers after a while.
I have an article on problems caused by jokes you’ll want to look at if you haven’t already.
Happy writing!
Chris
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One thing to consider:
Don’t have EVERY character quips and jokes the same way
You need variety. Some characters never quip. Some characters are funny, but they aren’t trying to be
Even if two characters quip, they could still be different. One might be self-deprecating, while another is sarcastic, and a third comes up w/ stupid metaphors
Having different types of quips can help keep things from being repetitive
I really hate it when I feel like the story is being derailed by the author trying to look smart, cute or funny. As long as the story is going forward and the quips are on point, I won’t be too annoyed
Do quips have any place in dark stories? I had the sense that darker stories have less room for those.
Less room, sure, but a good quip can be useful to give the tension a much-needed momentary break
Homer? Is that you?
Another thing to be thinking about is how to use its absence to create a more serious tone. Let’s say your swashbuckling devil may care style character is always joking even as the world is crumbling around them (maybe even a coping mechanism) and then the big boss crosses the line. A moment of silence. All remorse and humor gone from the hero, and the villain knows his goose is cooked. For example spiderman, he’s always joking so when he doesn’t, it can be a source of fear in the enemy.
That’s a good point. Having a character quip and not take things too seriously earlier on and then they’re all serious when the climax comes can ramp up the tension a little.
I am a high-functioning autistic who learned basic communication skills from sitcoms.
(I found it a great shock to learn that nobody else quips in every other sentence, and that personal insults aren’t a sign of friendship.)
These days, I have more or less recovered through proper socialization, but I still use quick-draw humor to cope with the adversities of life, which definitely exist, because I have the fun kind of autism that also disables you physically. (I am basically the Rain Man of cheesy one-liners, is what I’m trying to get at here.)
My inherently professorial yet quippy voice has a tendency to bleed into the dialog and descriptions in every story I write. It has caused beta readers to tell me things like “this is ridiculous; humans don’t talk like this”.
Um, I’m pretty sure at least one does, fellas.
That’s why my stance is:
Your characters can do what you want. You decide who they are.
Some people hated Joss Whedon’s “everybody quips” dialogue. Nowadays, of course, he’s a pariah for unrelated reasons, and it’s difficult to get an honest opinion about his works anymore. But it was apparently popular enough that it launched him a career.
So, if Nobody asks me, my advice is not to tie yourself in knots over this. Quip if that’s who you are. Don’t quip if that’s who you’re not.
(people give similar advice about writing sex scenes, btw)
(except there, the tying yourself in knots is optional)