Comics: Roll Dice Already!

You Are What You Roll

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Emma: Let us begin.

Farid: Alright, character building time!

The characters appear in-game. Farid’s is a bespectacled man wearing tweed; Tash’s is a woman in a long coat holding a tommy gun.

Farid: Enter the Professor, a bookish type who knows all. He’s not much use in a fight, but no one can match his intellect.

Tash: The Hitwoman doesn’t go in for all that secret lore nonsense. She prefers to let her Tommy Gun do the talking.

Out of the game, Emma laughs maniacally.

Emma: Muhahaha! You think this is a kind of pleasant fantasy land where you get to choose what you become? Foolish mortals, there are no kind gods here! Roll the dice!

Tash: Oh, we have to roll our stats.

Farid: I rolled max Strength and Size! Almost minimum Intelligence and Education.

Tash: Looks like I go in for the secret lore nonsense way more than I originally planned.

The new characters appear. Farid’s is the same bespectacled man, hoisting books in each arm, muscles bursting from ripped-off sleeves. Tash is now a hunched, elderly woman with a cane and her tommy gun.

Farid: Alright! I’m playing the Berserker Librarian, tearing ancient tomes apart like phone books.

Tash: I am the murderous grandmother. Enemies lose sanity just by shooting at me.

At the table, Emma holds up the two flaming character sheets.

Emma: Roll again!

Tash: Emma! Don’t set things on fire!!



  1. Rand al'Thor

    Emma’s quite a good GM.

  2. Andy

    Hmph. I disagree with Emma’s decision. Both of those awful characters are perfectly acceptable in Call of Cthulhu.

  3. Circe

    This one had me laughing so hard!!

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