A vampire hunter has cornered two vampires. One of them has stepped forward to shield their terrified companion from harm.

Vampire: Stop, hunter! We may be vampires, but we’ve never hurt anyone.

Hunter [shocked]: Wait – are you saying I’ve been slaughtering the innocent?!

Vampire: Well… some of us do kill. But since some don’t, we should be considered innocent until proven guilty, receive a fair trial, go to jail, and have a chance at rehabilitation.

Hunter: Wow, I’d never thought of that.

Hunter: Actually, that sounds like a lot of effort. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll keep staking first and asking questions later.

Vampire: But you won’t kill me, right?

The hunter, now looking angsty, holds up the vampire’s hand to kiss it.

Hunter: Of course not, you’re one of the sexy – I mean, good ones. If anything happens to you, I’ll be devastated.

P.S. Our bills are paid by our wonderful patrons. Could you chip in?

Jump to Comments