Transcript

A spaceship captain and transporter technician are in the transporter room, looking frazzled.

Captain: She’s still on the planet. Use the transporter!

Technician: I can’t, there’s particle interference.

Captain: That’s not an acceptable answer, Lieutenant. We leave no one behind.

Technician: Well… her pattern’s still in the computer.

Captain: Just get her up here!

Later…

In a conference room, a hanging banner reads:
Society of Abandoned Transporter Clones

Welcome Jamal Ann Tina Tina 2 Newcomer!

Member 1: And then they just made themselves a clone and left me on the planet!

Member 2: At least you didn’t have to sit in the buffer for fifty years.

P.S. Our bills are paid by our wonderful patrons. Could you chip in?

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