Transcript

A captain sits in his chair on the bridge of a starship, his face furrowed in concentration.

Captain: Computer, chart a course through the minefield.

Computer: Course charted, Captain.

The captain looks speculatively out the viewscreen at a planet and a bright star in the distance.

Captain: Computer, devise the best way to shield this planet from the nearby supernova.

Computer: I have generated 50,000 possibilities and selected the most effective.

The captain is in a council chamber with a grumpy alien leader.

Captain: Computer, find some diplomatic solution to this standoff.

Computer:  Of course, Captain. I will pitch it to your counterpart in their native tongue.

The captain lounges in their office drinking a cocktail with a little umbrella in it. Out in the corridor, two officers look on.

Captain: Computer, attend my meetings for me.

Ensign: Do you think we should report him to the admiral? 

Lieutenant: Are you kidding? The computer’s the best boss I’ve ever had.

P.S. Our bills are paid by our wonderful patrons. Could you chip in?

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