The captain stands in a trance as an alien shakes his hand. An ensign frets nearby.
Alien: I am your alien half sister, separated from you during the asteroid war.
Ensign: But I thought you were MY sister!
Alien: Obviously that was a trick to get me closer to the captain. If you’ll just let me erase those fake memories…
Ensign: But I want a sister. Now I have to call security on you.
Alien: Okay, calm down, I can be the sister for both of you. Just stay quiet about –
Captain: I can remember being in the asteroid war! Sister, how could I have forgotten you?
Ensign: And me too! I’m your sister’s brother.
Captain: Amazing! Let’s all spend time together, just the three of us!
Alien sister puts her head in her hands.
P.S. Our bills are paid by our wonderful patrons. Could you chip in?