The captain stands in a trance as an alien shakes his hand. An ensign frets nearby.

Alien: I am your alien half sister, separated from you during the asteroid war.

Ensign: But I thought you were MY sister! 

Alien: Obviously that was a trick to get me closer to the captain. If you’ll just let me erase those fake memories…

Ensign: But I want a sister. Now I have to call security on you.

Alien: Okay, calm down, I can be the sister for both of you. Just stay quiet about –

Captain: I can remember being in the asteroid war! Sister, how could I have forgotten you?

Ensign: And me too! I’m your sister’s brother.

Captain: Amazing! Let’s all spend time together, just the three of us!

Alien sister puts her head in her hands.

P.S. Our bills are paid by our wonderful patrons. Could you chip in?

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