A bride and groom in royal garb stand under a wedding arch. A well-dressed suitor interrupts the proceedings, reaching dramatically for the bride.

Suitor: Wait – you don’t love him!

The bride looks adoringly at her groom. The suitor looks undeterred.

Bride: Of course not, I love his port cities and the low tariffs he’s giving me as a wedding gift.

Suitor: You mean the port cities I just invaded? 

Furious, the groom points his drawn sword at the suitor.

Groom: If so, then you’ve incurred the wrath of our two kingdoms!

Bride: Hold on. We’re not married yet, so this is a you problem, not a me problem. 

The groom stares in anger as the bride walks away on the suitor’s arm.

Suitor: Have I told you about my devilishly handsome iron mines?

P.S. Our bills are paid by our wonderful patrons. Could you chip in?

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