Transcript

A mentor stands dramatically in the doorway to the hero’s apartment.

Mentor: You must come train, for it is your destiny to vanquish the Evil One.

Hero: Ugh, really? In that case I’ll skip the training, since I’m predestined to win anyway.

Mentor: What? No. Destiny isn’t written in stone, you could still fail.

Hero: If it’s not written in stone, maybe you should do the vanquishing.

Mentor: Well, no… umm… Destiny specifically states that everyone else has a 0% chance of success, but you have a 5% chance.

Hero: *Sigh.* Fine. I’d better start my training.

Mentor: Also, destiny says you must circle the globe, find the lost artifacts, win the heart of a fallen star, and double knot your shoelaces.

Hero [glaring]: Could I talk to destiny’s manager?

P.S. Our bills are paid by our wonderful patrons. Could you chip in?

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