The mentor lies weak and bleeding in the hero’s arms. A battle rages in the background. 

Mentor: Unnnghh … ohhh, the pain …

Hero: Oh, sweet mentor! I’ll never forget you.

Mentor: You must kill the evil overlords so good can triumph.

Hero: I will!

Mentor: Don’t harm the weak … Honor those who are old …

Hero: Of course.

As the mentor talks, the hero blocks an enemy’s sword.

Mentor: Give to the needy … Feed my cat … Water my plants … The key to my shed is in the fake rock by the front door …

Hero: Er.

Mentor: And tell George I won’t be able to come to cocktail hour next Sunday … Put the dirty dishes away … Make sure the bread drawer is closed so nothing goes stale …

Hero: Are you done, or —

Mentor: Remember to schedule your dentist appointment next week …

An arrow hits the mentor in the chest; she dies instantly. 

Hero (in surprise): Mentor!

After a moment, the hero closes the mentor’s eyes.

Hero: Goodbye, my friend. I’ll avenge you.

The mentor’s ghost appears.

Mentor: Just a couple more things.

Hero: *Sigh.* Should I be writing this down?

Mentor: You mean you haven’t been?

P.S. Our bills are paid by our wonderful patrons. Could you chip in?

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