A ship at sea is surrounded by monsters who are threatening the crew.

Sailor: We could really use some magic right now!

Mage: Sorry, I can only use it when it’s dramatically appropriate.

Sailor: Well, when will it be dramatically appropriate?

Mage: Hmm… probably when someone is about to die.

Monsters grab a couple crew members.

Mage: Not that person.

Mage: Or that person.

The mage is looking out toward the see in thought. Behind them, the angry sailor is holding up their weapon, ready to hit the mage.

Mage: Someone who matters. Maybe you, definitely me.

P.S. Our bills are paid by our wonderful patrons. Could you chip in?

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