A straight couple is in a lovely room with a glowing ritual circle. The boyfriend stands in the circle holding a goblet.

Boyfriend: My love, will you be bonded with me?

Girlfriend: How romantic! What does it entail?

Boyfriend: We just drink magical wine from this cup…

Girlfriend: That sounds nice.

Boyfriend: …and our souls become linked forever.

Girlfriend: Oh. Umm… What if we grow apart or it turns out one of us is an axe murderer?

Boyfriend: That’s no problem, we’ll love each other anyway because the binding will make us.

A back view of the girlfriend reveals she has a bloody axe tucked into her belt where the boyfriend can’t see.

Girlfriend: Great, let’s do it.

P.S. Our bills are paid by our wonderful patrons. Could you chip in?

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