Transcript

It’s parent-teacher night at the Academy of Magic. Two parents sit across from a grave-looking magic teacher.

Magic Teacher: This quarter, the Dark Lord attacked the school.

Parent: But you kept our son safe, right?

The magic teacher smiles soothingly.

Magic Teacher: Oh yes, he did fine during the fight.

Parent: Our son fought!?

Magic Teacher: Well… think of it this way: now he can put “defeated dark wizard” on his résumé.

Parent: He defeated this wizard?

Magic Teacher: He did, but not until after the Dark Lord killed another student, so he’s getting a C.

P.S. Our bills are paid by our wonderful patrons. Could you chip in?

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