Emma: A slathering black ooze with a hundred eyes overwhelms your fragile mind! Insanity overcomes you. Roll to see what sort of twisted mania you receive.
Tash: What, what is it?
Emma: Empleomania. The insatiable urge to hold office.
In the game, Farid’s character throws a hand to his forehead, clutching a clipboard to his chest. Tash’s character holds a baby.
Farid: Oh, what horror! I will have to face the unspeakable madness of gathering signatures on a petition.
Tash: Plus all the handshakes and baby kissing, that’s the worst!
Emma [out of game]: Very well. Now, prepare yourself to spend endless tedious hours trapped in committee meetings, the dread of breaking every campaign promise, and forced into faustian dealings with corporate lobbyists…
Farid looks stricken. Tash consults the book.
Farid: Oh God No! Anything but the lobbyists!
Tash: Be fair there must be another… Here, Helminthomania: an excessive liking for worms. That sounds a lot better.