A princess sitting on a cushioned bench, monologuing.

Princess: It all started when my father died and my stepmother cast me out. I wandered the woods for days, until a witch captured me. She put me in her cauldron and tried to make me into a stew!

Someone Offscreen: That must have terrified you.

Princess: It did at first, but I used my wit and charm to convince her that the stew wouldn’t be any good unless she went out to get potatoes. Then it was simple to free myself. After that, I reclaimed my rightful throne and banished the dark hordes from my kingdom.

Close up of princess with a big smile.

Princess: Now I’m living happily ever after!

The camera zooms out, we see the princess is sitting upright on a fainting couch and someone with a clipboard is sitting nearby.

Therapist: Let’s go back to how you broke down over that bowl of soup yesterday.

P.S. Our bills are paid by our wonderful patrons. Could you chip in?

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