Comics: Once Upon a Trope

Fetch Quest


We see a tall and graceful wizard tower (ivory in color). A pilgrim stands below it.

Pilgrim: Oh great and powerful wizard, I’ve come to seek your infinite wisdom!

The wizard pops their head from the tower’s window.

Wizard: If you wish to gain my knowledge, you must bring me the effervescent nectar of the night-blooming starflower.

Pilgrim: I shall!

The wizard is taking a bottle of glowing liquid out of a basket on a crank at the window. The pilgrim stands below.

Wizard: Good. Now bring me the bountiful fruit of the firewood tree.

Pilgrim: But I thought… alright, I’m going.

The wizard is unloading a basketful of fruit at his window.

Wizard: Now you must bring –

Pilgrim: Could you just give me a list of everything?

The pilgrim is reading a parchment with a long list.

Pilgrim: Honey, duck eggs, flour…

Wizard: Don’t forget the goat’s milk, or you shall never have the answers you seek!

The pilgrim looks up at the wizard skeptically. The wizard looks defeated.

Pilgrim: You can’t get down from there, can you?

Wizard: I… no.



  1. Dave L

    Wizard: Now that you have completed these tasks I shall bestow upon thee… The recipe for the perfect cake

    • LeeEsq

      People will pay good money to eat the perfect cake. If you can scale up the process for making it, you can make mint.

  2. Cay Reet

    That bears the question of how the wizard got up into the tower, though…

    Also reminds me of Johannes’ claim that sorcerers are magically attracted to towers and will be up one faster than a weasel up the drain. Before he remembers that his own laboratory is in the attic of a tall house…

    • CommissarFeesh

      That’s easy, they build themselves into the tower, but they never think to put in any stairs

      • LeeEsq

        I always assumed that wizards have a worse case of the absent-mindedness that many intellectuals in real life have at times.

    • Pearl Fields

      Any time a tower is built and abandoned, within 2-3 years after part of it crumbles and vines grow at least midway of the tower, one (1) wizard will most likely spawn. This can be facilitated by providing the needed ingredients used in most spells and potionmaking, though the wizard will normally spawn with most of their needed ingredients.

  3. Dave

    Fetch quests incarnate XD

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