Two characters in cool outfits stare angrily at each other while a judge makes a pronouncement.

Judge: It’s your word against theirs. That leaves us with one way to determine which of you committed the villainous deed.

Judge: Trial by –

The judge throws flowers and confetti in the air as the court cheers.

Judge: Beauty pageant!

The opposing characters, now done up, pose on a red carpet while the jury observes. 

Juror 1: Remind me how a beauty pageant determines guilt?

Juror 2: The hero is always the best looking, duh.

P.S. Our bills are paid by our wonderful patrons. Could you chip in?

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