Transcript
Two minions with guns sit on a rooftop, looking at three superheroes. Minion 1 is aiming at a flying hero.
Minion 2: Don’t bother trying to shoot her, she’s invulnerable to bullets.
Minion 1: Oh. I’ll just aim at them, then.
Minion 1 is looking at a hero lifting a car over their head.
Minion 2: Actually, their invincible chest plate is a magnet for projectiles.
Minion 1: Good thing this is a laser gun.
Minion 2: Including lasers.
Minion 1 is growing frustrated. They gesture to a third hero below, whose limbs are long and stretchy.
Minion 1: Fine, what about that guy?
Minion 2: Whenever someone tries to aim at him, they get all woozy and miss.
In the background, two of the heroes are running low to the ground while the third crouches behind cover that is clearly too small.
Minion 1: Why do we even bring guns?!
Minion 2: As long as we’re shooting something, they’ll slow down to dodge and take cover.
P.S. Our bills are paid by our wonderful patrons. Could you chip in?
The most infuriating trope is when you see bullets ricocheting everywhere around them, but never ever injuring them even though they are super exposed… Or worse… when hero is the running and bullets just hit the ground exactly behind them… Come on ! Just move your arm just a bit faster and bam, no more hero…
Reminds me of a ‘texts from superheroes’ talk between two villains where one said ‘I’ve found out Superman is Clark Kent’ and the other says ‘we know that already’. The first then asks why this isn’t commonly known and the second points out that as long as Clark keeps up the double life, there’s eight less hours in a day he’s fighting crime and evil – and that he’s no less bulletproof in his PJs.
wait, what?
Where did you find this and can I read it?
The thing is, the only one who can’t know that everyone knows who Superman is is Superman…and all the other good guys, I guess, but it could be common knowledge among villains?
(I mean, he’s not even GOOD at hiding his identity….I wear glasses and no one’s ever not known who I am when they saw me with glasses and then without…or vice versa…)
Texts from Superheroes is a tumblr blog where someone puts up fictional texts between superheroes/-villains. The text window I mean was between Lex and another villain who had just realized Clark Kent is Superman and Lex was all like ‘yes, he is, yes, most of us villains know, but it’s better if he doesn’t realize it and continues the charade.’
Invulnerable heroes dodging and using cover when they don’t have to? Is that a thing? I’ve never seen it happen. But I have seen plenty of cases where someone who is theoretically vulnerable to bullets stands out in the open, not moving, without a particle of cover, and somehow doesn’t get shot dead in two seconds. Or, as the Nostalgia Critic put it in his review of Commando, “everyone in the entire world tries to hit this guy, and not one friggin’ bullet touches him.”
Stormtrooper Syndrome. Those guys can’t hit a barn door from inside a barn.
I despise more the “professional sniper missing the first shot” trope.
The weird thing is, for a lot of non-expert shooters that *is* how wild it gets. EXCEPT that of course that should only apply for a second or two before the sheer number of bullets lands a hit or three.
When I think of those, I have to dig up the first Batman Animated episode, “The Cat and the Claw Part 1.” It’s directed under the jaw-dropping rule that if someone points a gun at a hero, the hero has to do something about it before they shoot.
Just saw this trope with one of the various mass murders of civilians scenes in Invincible. Just upgrade your weaponry! You’re already in a world where super exist! The laws of physics are already all whack and probably even a high schooler can build a laser gun in their parents’ basement.
“one of the”