Ann is preparing food in her kitchen when she’s startled by a cat sitting on the table behind her.

Cat: Hello, Ann.

Ann: Uh – did you just talk to me? Of course not, cats can’t – 

Cat: I am God. I have simply chosen a form you are comfortable with.

Ann reaches to pet the cat, who is still sitting stiffly.

Ann: Oh. Well, I do like cats. Can I pet you?

Cat: You may. I have great words of wisdom for you, Ann, but first you must bring your god an offering.

Elsewhere, scientists in lab coats look in dismay at a broken cat door.

Scientist 1, sighing: The cat got free again.

Scientist 2: You don’t mean the cat that has superhuman intelligence?!

Scientist 1: Yes, but don’t worry. It only leaves so it can carry out elaborate schemes to get more snacks.

P.S. Our bills are paid by our wonderful patrons. Could you chip in?

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