Transcript

A severely distraught sidekick comes running up to support character. Support character looks really concerned.

Sidekick: Thunder Woman is dead! The villain, he.. he… he killed her!

Support Character: Oh no! Did you… did you actually see her die?

The sidekick is bawling in the support character’s arms. Support character looks worried, but skeptical.

Sidekick: She was cut down right in front of me!

Support Character: Cut down like a stab, or cut down as in completely bisected?

The sidekick is staring up at the support character, looking shocked and traumatized. Support character still looks skeptical.

Sidekick: I don’t know! There was so much blood…

Support Character: So if you were to estimate the percentage of her body that’s still intact, what would you guess? And did anything damage her at a cellular level, like fire or acid?

The sidekick has pulled away and is looking angry. The support character looks abashed.

Sidekick: The savior of the city is dead, and all you care about is what percentage of her body is left?! Have you no heart?

Support Character: I’m sorry, I’m sorry. We’ll mourn her together, I promise.

A group of people all dressed in black are gathered at a funeral as the casket is lowered to the ground. They are all crying. That is, except for the support character. They are standing in the center with some brightly colored balloons and a big happy sign that reads, “Welcome Back, Thunder Woman!”

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