Transcript
A visitor talks to a prisoner sitting behind a barrier of thick bars and crisscrossing laser beams.
Prisoner: I’ll break out, and we’ll make a run for it.
Visitor: How? Those are steel bars and deadly lasers, and you only have nail file.
The prisoner points a finger toward a door near the cell; the visitor heads there.
Prisoner: Just go into the other room, count to five, and come back.
Visitor: Okay…
Five seconds later, the visitor stares through the door. The prisoner is where they were before, but the bars have melted into a swirl of rainbow colors and the laser beams are all pointed harmlessly away.
Visitor: What did you do?!
Prisoner: Fill it in with your imagination.
P.S. Our bills are paid by our wonderful patrons. Could you chip in?
*stutters in bs explanation of how good the hero is even though it took absolutely no effort for the big bad to capture and imprison them*
’twas all part of a plan.
I want that prisoner on my side – they’re clearly an elder god in disguise and bend reality around them as it suits them.
“…a nail-file made of pure handwaveium!”
Oh, so that’s what vibranium is.
I hope they’re following proper precautions to prevent handwavium contamination. It’s all fun and games until you have to explain why the bus now only takes the fanciest Starbucks drinks instead of gas, or why your little cousin now looks like an anime space-elf.
Use the nail file to weaken the ankle cuff to the point where you can break it.
Polish an area of the ankle cuff so it’s quite reflective.
Use that to reflect the (strangely visible) laser beams so they a) cut through the steel bars and b) disable each other.
OK, that will definitely take more than a mere “count to five”, but it’s what I would try.
That’s a plan that I would at least be willing to suspend disbelief for!
Maybe the visitor is a very slow counter. But that’s cool!
“I have the power of the script writers behind me.”
Glad the comics are back! Hilarious as always.
…Where were they supposed to go to the bathroom?
That is always the question, isn’t it? Most cells in movies or TV shows don’t have a toilet or sink – as if they were still medieval ones where you pee in a corner and get a bucketful of water to drink and washing is evil, anyway (which is not historically true – medieval people did wash themselves).
The sad thing is that if the last line wasn’t, “Fill it in with your imagination,” but rather something along the lines of, “No time to talk, we have to go now!” it would read like an actual transcript of soooooo many stories…
Sooooooo many non-ironic non-parody stories… :(